Growing up I remember always hearing about how being a mother was such a blessing. My mom and grandmother (whom I was raised by the majority of my life) made it look so easy. As a child I was in love with the old shows like Leave it to Beaver and The Dick Van Dike show and well those moms made being a mother look easy as well. It wasn’t until I had my first son that I realized that yes being a mother was a huge blessing BUT it was also very stressful. I was so concerned with doing everything perfect and putting other’s needs before my own that I had forgotten how to actually do things that just benefited me. I started feeling guilty taking time for just myself, guilty for spending money on myself and even guilty for just thinking I needed a break. I worked full time, kept my home up and went to school part time at night. After bit I even felt guilty going to college while my little boy wanted to spend time with me so I stopped going vowing to go back once he was in school. After all he was going to be our only child so the doctors said.
6 years after Logan was born I received my second blessing a bouncing baby boy named Xavier and then my world crashed around me. I was so busy trying to be the perfect wife and mother that I completely lost it. I had difficulty connecting with Xavier the way I did with Logan. I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t want to eat and I even started withdrawing myself from both my children and my husband. I was depressed. No longer was I thriving in my homemaking, parenting, has a help mate for my husband and my Christian walk was suffering. I was then a dear friend of mine took action once she realized how bad things were getting.
My friend made me abandon my pjs and venture out with her for the day. It was a much needed day of pampering. Can I just say it was amazing?!? I came home feeling like a new woman. Able to focus on my family. No longer was I drained I was rejuvenated and full of life once again. It was then that I promised myself no longer would I put myself on the back burner. Oh no I would forever strive to keep this Bridget around. Since then I have added my twins Hannah and Isaac into the mix but I have continued to keep this promise to myself even though a full day of pampering is no longer in the equation for me since on top of my four loves I also keep other children in my home as well.
I would like to share with you however a few things that I do throughout the day to make sure I am remaining the best that I can be.
- I try and make sure I start my day with God. If you were to see inside my home first thing in the morning you would see me stumble my way into the kitchen in my blue house coat. No make up and no regular clothes at this point. I pour my coffee and then sit down to have my alone time with God. To accomplish this I have to get up earlier than everyone else. But it is well worth it to me to write in my prayer journal and read God’s word. Now there are mornings I miss this and I sure can tell it because it is in these moments I am setting the mood for the rest of the day.
- My kids have said goodbye to naptime (yes I shed a tear or two over this) but naps have been replaced with quiet time. I also MAKE myself take a quiet time as well. It is a time to sit read, write or even sew. Just like my children I require a bit of quiet time to relax.
- I make myself have a cut off time. I will work myself silly if I don’t watch it. I am constantly finding things that need to be done. So to keep myself from burning the midnight oil I have set a quitting time. And housework not done by 7:30 at night just gets put onto the next days list. One this makes me work harder to get it done and two it is ensuring I take time to just enjoy my family. During this time I will still attend to my children’s needs but no housework (ok if someone spills something I will clean that up LOL)
- I give myself a treat. It is a running joke amongst family and friends that when the kids go to bed you better believe Bridget is eating a scoop of ice cream. It is my treat for a job well done. Now I am sure I could find another way to treat myself but I sure do love my ice cream.
In the end it doesn’t really matter how you find the time to make time for yourself but as a mother it is extremely important that you do. After all have you ever heard the phrase “If Momma ain’t happy then ain’t nobody happy”. You owe it to yourself and your family.
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,
Bridget is a stay at home mom of 4 wonderful children and help met of her husband of 13 years. She can be found over at Becoming A Godly Wife where she shares her own struggles and triumphs in hopes that it will encourage other women to be the best wives and mothers that they can be.