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Today I Want to Quit

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My desk is covered in pieces of paper, stickers, empty coffee cups and ink pens.

The sink is full of dishes.

The washer has a load of wet towels in it and the dryer a load of clean ones.

My son is in the living room crying because is he grounded from screens.

My daughter is in tears because she has to read again today.  Too bad that reading time doesn’t carry over from day to day.

The hubby is asking what is for dinner.

And me, I just want to quit.

I want to crawl under a stack of blankets and hide my head from the world.

I want to shut down all social media and forget that there is a world beyond my bed.

I want to cry… or yell.

Today I want to quit

Instead…

I will pray.

I will go ask my son to show me what he can build out of legos.

I will ask S to read a chapter of her book to me in bed while we snuggle.

I will pray.

I will order a pizza and call supper done.

I will turn off the phone, computer, and tablet.

I will pray.

I will remember that the people in this house are a blessing.

I will remember that the dirty belongings mean we have things we want, not just things we need!

I will pray.

I will remember that I am blessed!

Life can become full of noise and distraction.  I am easily prone to being negative.  I have been like this my entire life.  I long to be the eternal optimist who sees things in a bright light and doesn’t get down on life.  For me, it is hard.  Each season change I find myself battling depression.  Most of the time I see it in myself before others do and I am able to work through it.  Some times, like right now, the cloud is dark and heavy and I have to walk through it for a bit before I find the other side.  I know that once I get there things will be better. I will feel renewed and able to get through the days easier.  It is just part of my journey.

Today, I will not quit.

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