As a mom I ask myself the question “Am I setting the bar too high?” very often.
Since announcing to my family that I was pulling our oldest son out of public school to actually homeschool him, my thoughts have been in all sorts of places.
Am I working hard enough?
Am I pushing him hard enough?
During last weeks math lesson I began to wonder am I setting the bar to high?
What Caused My Self- Evaluation:
I have always been a perfectionist when it comes to projects and school. When I do things I want them to be done well.
My son on the other hand, is the polar opposite of that. In fact he will do as little as possible. Bare minimum is completely fine for him….At least in his mind.
What about in my mind?
Over last weeks session I began to realize that maybe, just maybe, I am setting the bar to high.
Not because we are in a competition or because we are worried about the end of grade assessments that are coming up. Nope, I am guilty of setting the bar to high because I am worried about what family and friends will think of us. I am afraid that if he does not do exceedingly well that it will make it look as though we are not trying. Yep, how is that for a confession?
If I were truthful I would say that setting my bar to high would be one of my major down fails in parenting. Not with just my school age child but with all of my other children as well.
I blame it on the fact of how we as moms feel as though we are always being judged. We are judged by family members and we are in fact judged by other moms.
What Does This Sort Of Pressure Do To Our Children?
When we set the bars to high for our children we are causing them to fail.
We begin crushing their own personal little spirits to fulfill our own needs to look like supermom.
This in turn lowers our child’s own self-esteem. The very thing that we are suppose to be building up.
Setting the bar to high also causes a huge strain on their relationships with us as parents. They begin to feel as though they can no longer come to us about things because they feel they will always fail short of our expectations. For me this is a huge one because I have a child who is just about to hit those critical teenage years.
A Few Things To Ask Yourself:
Have you taken time to evaluate the bars that you have set?
Are they set a little to high or are they set just low enough that your child can reach success?
Are you allowing yourself to crack under the pressure of others which is causing you to apply unneeded pressure to your children?
Is your child struggling to meant their goals?
Are you overwhelmed with stress because if the bars you have set?
Until Next Time Just Keep Soaring 4 Him,